side issue, first of many

I found this gem on a discussion board that was started in regards to reports of unprofessional conduct by Coast Guard boarding teams:

I am sitting in a tavern
Swilling down my nightly beer,
When a stranger asks politely,
"Do you mind if I sit down here?"

I knew just what was coming,
But I said, "Sure, sit a spell."
Then he starts asking questions,
I am so mad that I could yell.

He is eying my gob suit,
When he notices my shield.
Then he says, "What's that thing sailor?"
So I answer, "Heres the deal

That thing stands for Coast Guard,
I am very proud to say,
No we're no part of the Navy,
We like ourselves that way."

Now I warm up to my topic,
Sitting there in that bar.
I tell him of the good and bad points,
But that's neither her nor thar.

He buys one while I tell him
About "Stiff Calls" and all that stuff.
Then he says, "I'm a YACHTSMAN."
I says, "Brother that's enough."

I like rattlesnakes and scorpions,
Lizards, snails and crawling worms,
But just the thought of YACHTSMAN,
Makes my guts and gizzard squirm.

In their Captain's hats and deck shoes,
With their chest's a stickin' out,
They spin tall yarns while drinking,
They're "Salty" no doubt.

They curse and damn the Coast Guard
For a lazy bunch of bums,
Who drink coffee and play poker,
And lie out in the sun.

They're mighty brave these YACHTSMEN,
While they're standing slopping drinks,
But they surely change their tactics
When they think they're a'gonna sink.

Then we're "GOOD OLD COAST GUARD."
And they sing our praises high.
We're not "Coffee Drinkin' Bastards.
"We're "The boys who are standing by."

But when we get them safely ashore,
And there's no more chance to drown,
They retire to the nearest bar,
And start to run us down!!!

"They surely took their good sweet time,
Those coffee drinking bums.
Why hell we could have drowned out there,
We thought they'd never come.

They scratched our yacht from stem to stern,
With their dirty towing line.
When they took all night just to tow us in.
"Yep, they sure took their sweet time."

This crap that I am taking,
For a lousy ten cent brew.
So I have to leave the joker there,
And go back and join the crew.

But we can't be to hard on them.
And this is what I say,
"It's those ^%&*%#@&* YACHTSMEN,
Who are paying me my pay.

EN1 Doran wrote this poem
while stationed at Beaver Island LBSTA in October 1950

Seems like there isn't much difference from 1950 til today.

Most of the negative things said on the board aren't worth repeating. They are essentially bred by ignorance for what the Coast Guard does and who we are. If you care to look for yourself, one of the popular themes was that we should need probable cause (just like the police) to "pull boats over" (read - conduct a safety inspection). I personally think that is a horrible idea. The reason we don't need probable cause to conduct a safety inspection is because it serves an important public interest. I might be able to stomach the whole probable cause pitch if it wasn't for the fact that in the course of my career so far, when we conducted boardings on recreational vessels we found discrepancies on a very regular basis. Everything from something as basic as a broken navigation light, to something more severe like a boat operating offshore with an insufficient number of life jackets on board, or the worst being boating while intoxicated (only going into the safety type violations here).

As a law enforcement agency, is it possible that there have been a few bad apples that give the rest of us a bad name? Absolutely. But I've witnessed boardings that started off with a professional and friendly greeting by the Boarding Officer, only to be met with unfounded and rude statements from a captain about how he has no right to board their vessel, he's a taxpayer, we're just a bunch of kids with guns, he's sailed the seven seas, we're water nazi's...the list goes on. It's a two way street, but I've been lucky enough to be stationed with professionals so far.

entering the Coast Guard, pt1

In my senior year of high school, I made the decision to join the armed forces. My father is an active duty officer in the US Army so obviously the preferred path was to attend the academy at West Point, NY (our family happened to be stationed there at the time). I wasn't prepared to commit nine years of my life (four at the academy, five paying the Army back with service) so that ruled out all of the service academies. That left enlisting as my only option and I eventually settled on the Coast Guard, which led to the family joke that I was only doing it because I like the word "coast" har, har.

My basic plan was to enlist for four years and to then use the Montgomery GI Bill to attend college. I had no reason to attend college right after High School because I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career. In light of that, how could I possibly decide what to major in? I only viewed college as a means to an end so if I didn't know the end (my future career) then there was no reason to waste that kind of money.

I went into New York City in search of a recruiting station. The first one was the small booth in Times Square (the one that was bombed recently) but it turned out the Coast Guard was the only branch without a representative there. The next stop was at the recruiting station in Battery Park. Upon reaching the door, I was asked by a civilian security guard if I had an appointment. Being young and ignorant, I had figured it was like the movies where you just walked right in so I did not have an appointment.

As I was getting ready to leave, a recruiter happened to walk by, overheard the discussion and joined in. He asked me what I had received for an SAT score. I replied that I has gotten a 1370 and he asked me to follow him to his office.

He started giving me all the standard handouts, including a pamphlet containing all the ratings in the Coast Guard accompanied by a brief description. I had attended an Outward Bound course several years ago and one of my favorite parts was the orienteering/navigation. This seemed to be best embodied by the Quartermaster (QM) rating but I was informed that the rating was being merged into the Boatswain's Mate (BM) rating. It turns out the Coast Guard was hurting for BMs so I was given the opportunity to go directly from Basic Training to BM "A" School in Yorktown, Virginia. I decided that it sounded like the best path to take, as opposed to going to an operational unit and either having to do on the job training (striking) or waiting on the list to attend "A" school.

I signed up for a four year enlistment, but that also includes eight total years of IRR, which essentially means the government keeps you contact information so they can reactivate you after your enlistment was over (in fact, this happened after 9/11 to many ex-coasties). Under advice from my father, I entered the Delayed Entry Program in May 2003 to start my IRR time running early (that way there would be less of it when my enlistment ended). All that this really involved was attending MEPS, the medical screening program used by all the Armed Forces. I also took the ASVAB and did well enough to qualify for every rating in the Coast Guard.

After that, I just finished up my senior year of high school and kept in touch with my recruiter to let him know how things were going. When the time came to depart for Basic Training, I had to go through the entire MEPS journey again because it had been more than thirty days since my last screening.

A quick, look into MEPS. Hopefully your own experience is or was better than mine. The trouble began with the medical questionnaire we had to fill out. The first question on there is regarding tuberculosis, which I had been exposed to five years ago. It had never been active in my system but to be safe I was treated with a few pills, monthly blood tests, and a chest X-ray that confirmed there wasn't any lung damage. I asked if I should check the "yes" box for TB and the corpsman said I should just to be on the safe side.

After finishing our forms, we each saw a civilian doctor one at a time to review our paperwork. The doctor had very little patience for my explanation of why I checked the box for TB and basically said I would have to provide evidence that there wasn't any lung damage (BTW this all took place in a hospital, I don't see how hard it would've been to send me down the hall and be done with it). Moving on, it came time for me to drop my boxers and the berating started again. He asked me why I had written that I didn't have any scars or tattoos. I replied "Uhhh, because I don't." He pointed angrily at my right buttock where I have a birthmark, at which point we engaged in a lively discussion about whether a birthmark qualifies as a scar or not (mind you, this entire debate took place while my boxers were around my ankles, it's funny looking back but I failed to see the humor at the time).

The MEPS personnel that were in the military were extremely professional and helpful, but the civilian component left something to be desired. I suppose I can kind of understand their exasperation as they had to deal with a constant stream of eighteen-year-olds running around like idiots but it still wasn't a positive indoctrination into the military.

In any case, I eventually got the documentation between my first and second trip to MEPS and I then spent the night in a hotel waiting to go to the airport the next day...

dispelling common misconceptions, an exercise in futility

I would like to start off by laying down a few basic facts about the Coast Guard and also looking into some incorrect assumptions people seem to have about the service:

We ARE a branch of the armed forces (that makes five total). Although we are not used often in a "combat" role, we DO have Coast Guard men and women deployed to the Arabian Gulf in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. In fact, that's where I am currently deployed.

We ARE NOT all rescue swimmers. They are a critical component of our service but when looked at in size compared to the Coast Guard as a whole, they comprise a small part of the Coast Guard. Their rescues tend to be a lot more TV friendly than the ones made by let's say small boats or cutters. I have nothing but respect for ASTs (rescue swimmers) and only mentioned this fact because it seems like a lot of the prospective future Coasties have the impression that ASTs make up more of the service than they actually do.

Our motto, catchphrase, slogan or whatever else you might want to call it is "Semper Paratus" not "So Others May Live". This is Latin for always ready.

I could go on (my next target would be everyone calling the 47' MLB "the unsinkable one from TV") but I'm going to call it quits out of fear for sounding bitter. Or is it too late already?

Intro

Over the past five years, the Coast Guard has been seing more and more publicity. Between Hurricane Katrina and the film the Guardian, the new generation has been seeing more of the Coast Guard then I ever did. Thanks to the positive things the public has seen of our service, the Coast Guard is becoming a popular job to take on after high school. Although there is a lot of information on the internet about the Coast Guard, a lot of it doesn't address some of the more common questions a senior in high school might ask a recruiter. Anyone who does a search on popular sites like Facebook or Yahoo! Answers can see that a lot of people are trying to get their questions resolved via the internet so that they can form a better idea of what exactly the Coast Guard is.

My aim through this blog is to simply to describe some of the things I've seen and done so far in my Coast Guard career. Hopefully someone stumbles across it and it answers some of their questions about the Guard. If not, feel free to contact me and I'll do my best.